Crystal McCree - My Blog

My daughter claimed someone bit her in school and it turned out to be a somewhat false alarm. She just did not like how her friend played with her.

My son still jokes at the table and wouldn't say grace like he was supposed to.

It is very hard for me to find a job right now, and soon I'll be in my next semester for my B.S.

My fiancee wants to go real "hard" and work three jobs.

These, and many other issues, are some problems that are going on in my life. Yet, the main thing that plagued my head was Haiti. It is sad to see another strong natural disaster occur, and I feel I can't do much to help. Some friends are donating their $5...I don't even have that at this time. So, I signed up to volunteer one way or another with UNICEF. My status might be looked down upon by the snubbish republicans such as Rush Limbaugh, but it is definitely greater than others in developing countries. My situation is not that bad, so I better help.

BTW of all times, I didn't think they could make an attack on Obama because of a swift response, but Limbaugh did. Okay, he didn't act quickly on an averted attack on Christmas. Hello? That attack was thwarted and no one was hurt. It took him three days to respond, but Bush longer for Katrina. When people hurt I think the priority in response is supposed to be Higher. This blog isn't supposed to always be political, but ya know, sometimes the nonsense is a bit much. Why can't Limbaugh rush to lend a hand? If he was in Haiti now, I'm sure he'd want it!

Smhells was intentionally spelled that way.

What do I have against a year that isn't here yet? It has done nothing to me, and the movie was okay. It's the myth that goes along with it. I don't know if you heard lately, but I've heard this since I was a child. We are all doomed to die sometime in that year. Oh wait, there was supposed to be extinction in 2005...no, um y2k. Hold on, no no no, once 1000 A.D. came, yea that was the big one!

My sarcasm might stink right now, but I dislike the scent of playing with the thought of our end. If I had no children I would still think the same way. As a youngster, I watched shows and documentaries that spoke of the anti-Christ, WWWIII, meteorites, and so on. I was terrified, and hoped and prayed that any children I had would not have to go through such things. Then, I had to consider any future grandchildren, their children, their children's children....oh my goodness, no 8 year old should think like that! Now, as an adult, perverted films such as Legion (forgive me if I gave it the wrong title) are coming out where the angels are sent to kill people...come on now. Who really wants to see that happen?

My mom used to reassure me, Jesus will come like a thief in the night. In other words, we will never know when He will come back; therefore we won't know when the end is coming. In my ever-thinking mind, I agreed to myself that maybe the craziness of wanting the end is staving it off.

My grandmother (R.I.P.) truly believed the End comes when you die. Well, that makes plenty of sense.

We humans have done a number on this planet. It can't be denied that pollution is something to be ignored, but I'd like to think that we can somehow reverse most of it. This might be too much of positive thinking, but it works for me and helps me sleep better at night.

Tyra's Show was shocking today, and it really wasn't. How laughable is it to many that some men put up with their abusive wives or girlfriends? That's right, abusive women! We are not always the victim. I have been on the receiving end, but I would be a hypocrite to not see the similarities in males who live in the same situation. To be frank, it is not something I want to admit, but I witnessed it growing up. God bless both of my parents ~ they are not perfect but have changed for the better. Yet, as a child I could realize that how my mother attempted to control my father was wrong and embarrassing. He'd go to work, and make up lies for the scratches on his body. I was mainly surprised that there are men abused every 38 seconds in America.

The resulting view of women was strange for me afterwards. At times, if a woman was violent, I felt she deserved to get a "beat-down". This later transformed into my own submissiveness and allowing of violence in my household. It wasn't until things became a bit extreme that I decided to leave. And you know what, this person I will not name was also raised in a violent household. The cycle, to coin a phrase, is vicious indeed. It is non-stop until an adult stops and realizes the consequences. My son witnessed it all, and I am hoepful that he will become a peaceful man or will not let himself become dominated. Old news, but I think of Rihanna and Chris Brown ~ both children of a dysfunctional unit.

The point is, abuse is abuse. We shouldn't sugar coat it based on gender - isn't that a bit discriminatory? Would we rather a man physically retaliate against a woman? I don't think so. 911 might be dialed quickly. My main concern is how the children will respond. Regardless of gender, these small witnesses are always affected.

(I'm on vacation so I keep writingandwritingandwritingandwriting)

So you tell me my mid is becoming quite big.
What was once a four-pac can't even handle a lo-max.
You state we're growing together,
but if I jump on you you can't handle the weather.
There are claims of a new incline machine
and all this lard will disappear like sim salabine...
Then you offer me brownies and cheeseburgers,
what do you expect?
Yes, all the blame is off my chest.
Thank you.

God is Good!

Yes, I do recognize that some out there might be atheist, or would rather refer to a higher power. Nonetheless, I cannot deny the difference of my status between January 2010 and January 2009. It did not happen automatically, and there was a lot of praying involved.

• I have a computer now. Do you know how it feels to not have one, or a blackberry, iphone, or any type of technological advancement. Twitter and Facebook were the last things on my mind, and although I am a writer, it never occured to me to blog...why would I? My source of information came from the news on TV, only. I did not even have cable. But it was okay. All of these things were not necessary to my children and my survival. Yet, it feels good to have one, I will not deny that.
• Returning back to college feels really good. Everyone can use an upgrade every now and then.
• Shelter, smhelter. It's true, I am admitting that at a time in my life we lived in a shelter. Imagine, as a grown person, being told what time to come in and how to live. It goes without saying that this was an uncomfortable lifestyle, where the future was uncertain. Working was not easy, due to changes in residence. Without knowing where my permanent residence might be, I was stressed about what schools my children would attend. It was not a lack of rent payments that led to my situation, but rather an emergency. It makes me think of how battered women are treated when they have no place to go, but that is another story. Regardless, even though I will not look at 2009 as my best year, I appreciate the help we received.

Like I stated before, I did a lot of praying. When everything seemed lost, I kept a lot of faith. Many friends and family members have told me that if they went through this type of trial, they probably would have lost. I just knew that this was not the end all, and as stated in the Bible, this was just a moment in time. I consider myself a Christian, but spiritual more than that. I used some Buddhist principles; such as negating the feelings of desire and wanting. When you're focused on wanting something, then it creates unhappiness and negativity. For instance, many shelter residants seemed to always have nice clothes and had their hair professionally done. I knew that wasn't my main goal, so I focused on taking care of myself and finding ways to save. Even with that mentality, I knew that this wasn't the type of lifestyle that we would have for good. With aspirations and faith, I said f#%k it, I'm going back to school.

Life is what we make it, but I truly believe that we need extra help along the way. I am truly thankful.